Awesome vs. Awful column
Two sisters, in a battle of wits, convince you whether or not a movie is awesome or just plain awful.
Movie Review of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Hollywood’s desperate attempt to make a relatively short
novel into a 9-hour money-guzzling trilogy is what is mostly to blame. It is blatant greed at its worst. I don’t know whose idea it was to
change the storyline of The Hobbit, but I think the writers (one of who is
Peter Jackson) for the movie should be drawn and quartered. Despite this obvious epic betrayal, Peter
Jackson still holds some of my esteem and respect for his portrayal of the Lord
of the Rings trilogy. He was able
to bring to life a story that was considered (too many) impossible to
film. Still, the question of how
he botched up a story as simple as The Hobbit is one of those unsolvable
mysteries that will continue to confound human beings for the rest of their
days.
My biggest issue with the film is the inclusion of
characters that played a relatively minor role in the original story. When I say “minor,” I mean that they
were only mentioned in one sentence in the original Hobbit text. Peter Jackson and his arsenal of
well-intentioned writers decided to take it upon themselves to expand the
characters of Azog (the albino orc war-chief) and Radagast the Brown (the eccentric
wizard that comes to Gandalfs aide) in great and
nauseating detail. The result of which,
was disastrous and chaotic to say the least. Unlike The Hobbit mini-animated series that was smooth and
fluid, the introduction of these extra characters and subplots in The Hobbit:
an Unexpected Journey movie interrupted the flow of the main plot and
frankly seemed forced.
Also, did I mention the goblin king had a scrotum chin?…. And
moobs (man boobies)? Uck!!! Call me old fashioned, but I'm more fond of the 1977 animated musical The Hobbit, which was scrotum chin
free.
(Exhibit A: Scrotum Chin)
As far as goblin kings go, I much prefer The Labyrinth's Goblin King as portrayed by by Sir Sexy Hotness himself, the one and only David Bowie.
(Exhibit B: Who would you do?)
Overall, this movie gets two
big thumbs down along with several ‘boos.’ I wouldn’t even think of seeing the remaining Hobbit movies
(starting with The Desolation of Smaug) if it wasn’t for the fact that I have a
blood pact with my sister and have sworn to see the remaining movies with her
at the theater. Needless to say,
this pact has made me give serious consideration to disowning all blood ties
with my family.
Rainbow says - AWESOME
One of the problems that I ran into when I was trying to
introduce youngsters to Middle Earth is that the LOTR movies are just too dark,
somber, and scary for a lot of young kids to get into. This was a problem when
I was trying to watch them with my little cousins (nerds in training who
already love Star Wars). I know I that I was lucky in that I grew up watching
the cartoon version of the Hobbit, which isn't as readily available now and saw
the LOTR movies when I was older. My little cousins often covered their eyes or
were curled up on the couch in fear when they watched LOTR and they never did
make it past the first 30 minutes of the film. So when I saw the new Hobbit
film I was saw it as a wonderful introduction to Middle Earth for kids, and
honestly the kid inside me that had liked the lighthearted adventure of the
Hobbit before was thrilled with it.
This new movie really does feel like a Middle Earth 101
course. The Hobbits are introduced along with races and characters that we will
see in LOTR. The Orcs and trolls have a more cartoonish feel to them which
differs from the grotesque orcs and dark demons of LOTR. There is overall a
sense of foreboding and the feeling of a mystery begging which alludes to LOTR.
There is humor, bravery, and heartache which I think children can appreciate.
(Thorin can plunder my gold any day)
The biggest shock for me actually is how different the
Dwarves seem. Now I will admit that Thorin has spawned in me a newly found
appreciation for the sexiness of dwarves; he has that moody warrior prince
thing working for him. When I watched the animated version, the image I had of
Thorin was a grumpy and greedy old dwarf, which is the image that prevailed
when reading the book. Now that I have been given this new vision/version of
the dwarves I am interested to see how it will affect my perception of them as
I read the book again. Did anybody else notice the vampire from the original
BBC version of Being Human as one of the dwarves?
I don't really
appreciate how the goblin kings chin looked like a ball sack (kissing him would
be like getting tea-bagged) and I don't especially like how the Trolls were
depicted, but I can live with those things. What I do appreciate is the
character growth that takes place. Bilbo wants adventure but isn't particularly
confident about himself, a sentiment that is shared by at least Thorin. During
the story they both grow. Actually, with everything that happens in the film it
is the exchanges between Bilbo and the Dwarves that I love the most. There is
depth there that I think translates to both children and adults.
The liberties that may have been taken with the story are completely forgivable in my opinion because I think it adds much more to the big picture than it takes away from the singular story. I am personally thinking of this in terms of future Hobbit and LOTR marathons that I will be having, and in that context I think the film is kind of awesome.
***SO WHO WON? LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW!!!***
I'm with Rainbow on this (and I'm available for any movie marathon you wish to schedule)
ReplyDeleteThanks! :) Movie marathons are one of my favorite things to do. I can't wait until all The Hobbit movies are out an I can have an all day Hobbit and LOTR movie marathon. Movie marathon musts include Rocky Road Ice Cream, Popcorn flavored jellybeans, and making movie themed food & drinks. Also a great chance to eat like a hobbit (1st breakfast, 2nd breakfast, elevenses, lunch, tea, dinner, and supper).
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