Movie Review of Warm Bodies - Awesome vs. Awful column

Awesome vs. Awful column 

Two sisters, in a battle of wits, convince you whether or not a movie is awesome or just plain awful.

Movie Review of Warm Bodies

April says - AWFUL

Warm Bodies is the Twilight of all zombie films.  It is a cutesy and naively romantic take on the zombie movie genre that’s filled with emotionally driven turmoil.  Too put it simply, this movie is god-damned awful.

First of all, zombies don’t fall in love.   I repeat.  ZOMBIES DON’T EVER F’ING FALL IN LOVE.  It’s against the very nature of the zombie sub-species.  Falling in love is an emotional stimulus left best to other mythical monsters like vampires or goblins kings, but never zombies.   After this movie was released, I swear I heard a loud sigh from the bowels of the earth.  That sigh was George Romero turning in his grave. 

Despite the fact that zombies lack intelligence, zombie movies have the capability of being very intellectually driven, utilizing critical undertones which act as giant magnifying glasses focused on society.  For example, George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead is largely credited for criticizing American consumerism.   On the other hand, the intelligence of the Warm Bodies movie is as empty as a vacuum in space.   Instead of a sincere critique on the ills of civilization, we get a cutesy bubbly white-washed tale of romance between a human and the not quite-so-dead.  Thank the heavens the movie spares us a sex scene (which is technically necrophilia).

Why anyone would waste money to see this movie is beyond my mere mortal comprehension.    There are so many great zombie stories and films to watch nowadays.  The Walking Dead is a great example of this.   My suggestion is…. If you hate yourself… watch Warm Bodies.  Otherwise, save the two hours of your life and do something (anything!)  else with it.  In my humble opinion, reading a good book on the toilet will be ten times more beneficial to your being than subjecting yourself to two hours of the zombie romance in Warm Bodies.    

Rainbow says - AWESOME

Firstly, I would like to congratulate Warm Bodies for breaking down the barriers of Zombie love. Too long have we humans held the rather elitist view that Vampires are the only living dead beings allowed to "play" with their food.  Now Warm Bodies has made it clear that love is also possible for the rotting masses and not just for posh vamps.  I say what happens between two consenting adults (dead or alive) is their own business.  Who are we to judge?  50 years from now we will look back at this whole controversy and say "what was the big deal?" and "Isn't necrophilia just a victimless crime anyway?"

Warm Bodies is basically a live action version of a Disney Princess movie......but with Zombies. If Princess Jasmine can use her love to turn a thieving street rat into a prince and Belle can kiss a Beast into being human again, then isn't it possible that love can bring a Zombie boy back to life? I imagine another title that was considered for this film was "Beauty and The Zombie" or maybe even "The Little Zombie."  I could easily imagine the Warm Bodies’ protagonist, R, breaking into a less articulate version of "Part of Your World" or Julie and R singing "Something There That Wasn't There Before."

So maybe this isn't a Zombie movie that is for everybody.  

I personally enjoy a bloodier and less redeemable sort of Zombie (and Vampire) but I can see how fans of Twilight or Underworld might like this.  This movie is probably more like training wheels for non-horror fans and might be a good choice if you have a certain special somebody that you’re introducing to your love of horror movies.  Think of it like porn, you don't show your girlfriend the freaky hardcore stuff you are into right away because you might scare her off, you show her the more romantic soft-core stuff first and ease her into it.

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