The Geek Magnet: Geek Magnet’s Top 5 Anti-Valentine’s Day Movies

Valentine's Day has an amazing way of making people who are single feel terrible. There are, however, ways to remedy this effect. My personal favorite way to spend an Anti-Valentine's Day is to watch horror movies that make me happy I am single. While some horror movies also make great date movies, the ones on this list definitely do not. So if you’re single, instead of spending an embittered night with loneliness, cuddle up on the couch, pour yourself a cocktail, and prepare yourself to have a very merry anti-Valentine’s day by watching one (or all) of these epic movies instead.

#5 From Dusk till Dawn. Really any Tarantino movie is just a parade of screwed up relationships. Fortunately, with a good taste of dark and twisted humor, From Dusk til Dawn has a little something for both boys and girls that will make both genders want to keep it in their pants. For the ladies we have rapists, murderers, and the all-around creep Richie (Quentin Tarantino). For the gentlemen there are sexy hooker vampires who turn scary ugly and kill you once they catch you with your guard (or pants) down.

#4 The Pit and the Pendulum. This movie features the opposite of marital bliss and shows Vincent Price at his best. It will make you more than happy you aren't married. Or at least it will make you happy that you aren't married to a guy who has a torture dungeon (unless you are into that sort of thing).

#3 The Shining. The worst family vacation ever! Ok, it really isn't a vacation but this will really make anybody think twice about spending time alone with their significant other. Not only is this movie about a bad marriage but it is also has creepy children, which will make you question your desire to procreate.

#2 Hard Candy. Once upon a time I had a guy over at my house and decided to share one of my favorite horror movies with him. After watching this movie he suddenly seemed very uncomfortable and wanted to leave. Some guys just can't handle the castration scene. If you have seen the movie Catfish or the T.V show How to catch a Predator and want to take things up a notch, then this movie is for you. You might not want to try online dating after this though.

#1 Teeth. Not only is this a movie that will make you happy to not have sex; it is also a fun film to show any Gynecologist friends you might have. This movie does for vaginas what Jaws did for the ocean.

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1.30.2013

Geek Magnet’s Top 5 Anti-Valentine’s Day Movies

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